Music

Seattle Vs. Denver: Super Rock Battle!

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The most blistering, face-melting rock act ever to come out of the Mile High City...John Denver? (Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

The most blistering, face-melting rock act ever to come out of the Mile High City…John Denver? (Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Photo by Doug Cooper Scott Vanderpool
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It’s come to our attention that a Denver-area Classic Rock radio station has decided to ban all Seattle-area bands from their playlist…The Sonics, The Ventures, Jimi Hendrix, Heart, Queensrÿche, Metal Church, Soundgarden, Nirvana,Pearl Jam, Mudhoney, The Presidents of the United States of America…hell even the Dave Matthews Band… until their team has lost the “Big Game” on Sunday. Well sure, they think the outcome will be different, but the 12 Army knows better.

Certainly it would be childish to follow suit, but we’re not above that….however there’s one small problem: Denver music sucks, almost all of it, as we will demonstrate with some videos from the very short list of bands that hail from there:

John Denver. His last name is Denver, but he lived in Aspen. And he’s possibly one of the wimpiest things about the 70’s.

Winger. Possibly one of the wimpiest bands of the über-wimpy “hair-band” era. Sure they formed in New York City, but lead singer, bass player, and the band’s namesake Kip Winger is a Denver boy through and through.

Firefall. They had one hit back in the “soft rock” part of the 70’s. They hail from Wimp City, which specifically would be Boulder, not Denver.

Big Head Todd and the Monsters. Also from Boulder, only from the late 80’s. If you were to watch it, grass would grow approximately .00001 of an inch in the time it would take to listen to one of their songs, and be infinitely more entertaining.

Here’s a good one: The Fluid. A punk band from the 90’s, but the only people outside of Denver who were interested in them was a Seattle record label called Sub Pop, and they didn’t have quite the impact some of their labelmates did…and at least one of them moved here to, as Bob Seger once said, “get out of Denver”.

Okay, I found one we play. We won’t play it until Miles Bronco’s team has lost on Sunday, with apologies to KZOK Tacoma listener Loretta, who calls in for this or Jethro Tull almost daily: It’s Sugarloaf, and 70’s band from Denver who named themselves for a nearby ski resort.

Go Hawks!

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